The Birthday Experience – Part V

The average plate at The Grand Marnier Cafe probably weighs about 1-3lbs…without food.  Therefore, with food (those of you who have been to The Pie Factory or the restaurant itself know how huge those portions are), the average plate weights 3-5lbs.  The food runner is encouraged to carry four plates for every one trip out of the kitchen…you can imagine how tiring that gets after two trips.  I digress…

One of the most popular dishes at The Grand Marnier Cafe was the Indochine Chicken and Shrimp.  It was supposed to be a blend of Asian and Indian flavors –  curry here, white rice there…you get the picture.

Now…we come to the day of “The Birthday Experience”.  I had been in a shit mood last night and an even shittier mood the morning of.  I wanted to kill not just the guests, but the servers as well.

Here is something I will never understand about servers – you take the order, you enter the order…yet why do you not take measures to prepare your table for that order?  Seriously, why is there no ketchup on this table?  Your burger comes with french fries, right?  So, doesn’t it stand to reason that ketchup needs to be available?  How the fuck is your guest going to eat steak without a steak knife?  What are they going to do – wish the steak into edible slices?  And, for the love of god, someone explain to me why there are never any napkins on the table…EVER?!?!  Come on people, get it together.  I have shit to do – I can’t do your job too.


Maybe the reason I was having such a shit day because everyone was ordering dishes that had major components.  For example, the Thai Spring Rolls came with three different sauces, the Asian wrappers and the fillings…so instead of taking the one dish and the order for table 13 which is close-by, you were limited to taking just one dish.  It was a pain in the ass.

To top it off…every table was either a young couple on a date or a bunch of dudes.    Suffice it to say…it was not my fucking day.


Table 42 was the last table of the night…a four-top with two couples celebrating one of the girls’ birthdays.  They were loud, obnoxious…and racist.

I hated them simply because once I ran their food I was able to go for the evening and they fucking took forever to decide.  Granted our menu is extensive but seriously – just pick something.

I wiped the edge of the plate to remove the excess sauce, and followed Stephen to the table.  He had observed that I was losing steam and took the other three dishes himself.  As I placed the Indochine on the table – this beautiful blonde, Abercrombie&Fitch wearing, Louis Vuitton toting, “The Hills” viewing bitch giggles and says to me, “Did they make you bring out the Indochine because you’re Asian.”

Oh no you didn’t, bitch…



2 thoughts on “The Birthday Experience – Part V

  1. I work for The Pie Factory. Running food out to a table and not having them be prepped is my number one pet peeve. If it’s someone who preps their tables consistently and just forgot a ketchup or something, I’ll grab it. But the repeat offenders? They’re on their own.

    • Right? And really, if your table is ordering ribs, is there a reason there are no napkins to be found? Come on people, I’m trying to work here!

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