Step 2 – The Pick-Up

Believe it or not, taking that phone call is the easiest thing the to-go person has to do that whole night.  Sure, it seems like a pain in the ass at the time, but dealing with people on the phone is much better than when they’re in your face…and here’s why…

  1. Murphy’s Law states that anything that can go wrong, will inevitably go wrong and this could not be more true when it comes to restaurants.  This is due to the fact that there is:No Communication:  I love ringing in an order, hitting send and telling the person, “Great, we’ll see you then.” only to have the kitchen manager get in my fucking face and say, “Lauren, we’re out of mac and cheese…what the fuck is this (waves ticket in face).  My query – if we are at of mac and cheese…THEN WHY AM I STILL ALLOWED TO FUCKING RING IT IN?!?!  Go talk to your dildo of a floor manager to take if off the screen because I sure as shit didn’t know about this.
  2. No Respect:  Everyone and their mother thinks the to-go person is stupid.  I don’t know why – but that is the general consensus. Servers:  Servers are the spoiled brats of the food service industry.  This is mainly due to the fact that they think they are the only people working in the entire restaurant.  This is a fallicy.  The server actually works less than every single person in the restaurant.  Bussers are usually running around like mad men trying to get tables clean so they don’t get bitched out by the hostess and the server.  The hostess is busy getting screamed at by management, guests AND servers.  Bartenders are trying to work and entertain the bar-top while handling the well as servers complain that their drinks aren’t ready.  What’s the common denominator….SERVERS WHINING. Now, I’m not saying the server’s have it easy because they don’t but they are the biggest martyrs you will ever see…and they always need help.  So, while you’re packing up six to-go orders, trying to mark boxes and arrange everything accordingly, the server will be hounding you to help them run food, or check on their table or whatever they need in order to not do their job and when you saiy, “I can’t…I’m busy.” it’s always followed with an eye-roll and something along the lines of, “I don’t know how you’re busy…it’s just to-go.”

    Bartenders:  The only reason the bartenders think you’re stupid is because the people who order take-out are stupid.  No matter how much you tell them not to go to the bar to pick up their order, they will disobey, sit at the bar, not order anything and piss the bartender the fuck off.

    Managers:  Oh my God…I fucking hated managers when I was on to-go.  Because no matter how on top of your shit you are…they think you’re fucking everything up and running behind.  So, what do they do?  They fuck your shit up…and make you run behind. 

    It’s always the same.  You’ll have a bunch of orders ready and be speaking with someone when a manager asks you where someone else’s food is.  You tell your manager to wait, because, you know, since you’ve been doing this all night you know where everything is, but your manager takes it upon themselves to look through bags, rearrange shit…and make you consider murder.

  3. Timing:  Timing is everything when it comes to to-go.  This is mainly to due with the fact that to-go comes in waves.  It’s either everybody or nobody.  Lunch and dinner rush are terrible but it’s not so bad because people expect to wait.  It just sucks when everyone comes to pick up or place an order at the same time…and there is no sympathy…from anyone.

So, once you’ve managed to get everyone their food and demonstrated your awareness that the word “extra” means more than one…you can move on to Step 3.

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