I Dated an Actor – Part III

It’s not that I don’t respect the entertainment industry…it’s just that I don’t want to date someone in the entertainment industry.  It’s a very demanding life and you have to share that person with last minute auditions, casting calls and rehearsals.  It’s not something I could do unless I too was in the entertainment industry.


My interest tanked faster than that of a dude who’s 34C he’s been pumping drinks into all night has just whipped out a picture of her three kids.  Finding out a dude is an actor is like finding a $20 in your washer machine only to discover the other half is missing.  It’s the equivalent of winning a free cell phone…from T-Mobile.  Your response is always the same, “Fuck this shit.”.

He was my cousin’s best friend, though, so I figured I would put on a happy face and exercise my flirtateousness a bit.

“Oh,” I smiled, nudging him with my shoulder, “have I seen you in anything?”  Wrong question.
The smile faded from his face and he suddenly became very serious, “Well, I haven’t hit the mainstream yet but I am working on this huge project right now and soon I’ll be a household name.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Right now I’m on CSI.”
“Holy shit dude!  That’s awesome – what are you doing on CSI.”
“Well,” he smirked, leaning in seductively, “I don’t like to brag but if you look me up on IMDB you can see my character credit and pending roles on there.  Right now, though,” he said, brushing my arm, “let’s talk about you.”

I was so charmed by this mother fucker that by the time he and I parted ways I had given him my phone number and made a lunch date with him at Johnathan’s (a fancy schmancy place with white linen tablecloths nearby) for the following week.  He gave me his card and told me to call and have his secretary put it on his calendar.


“Who was that boy I saw you talking to?” my mom asked when I walked in the door.
“Just some friend of Shawn’s.” I said, entering his name into IMDB.  “Son…of…a…bitch.”
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing.” I laughed, tossing his card in the trash.

Search Results:  DJ Malone

CSI (2008)…Bystander #2 (2 episodes)



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