And that was the last I saw of the famous DJ Malone…or so I thought.
I was working at Barnes & Noble around the time DJ Malone and I met. And I can honestly say it was the best job I’ve ever had – all I did was walk around, read books and hang out.
I actually met one of my best friends, Katie (also known as Shit Bird), there. She had worked there for a few months before I came along and we bonded over hating the same types of people when we were paired together on the register one day. We began our courtship by exchanging screen names and needless to say, the first night we hung out is something I don’t think we’ll ever forget (but that is a story for a different day).
Anyway, Katie and I were always in trouble at work. It got to the point where we were scheduled to be on different floors because all we would do is make fun of the romance novels and hang out in random corners. We did everything together and our fun was greatly increased as I filled her in on my “romance” with DJ Malone.
“What a fucking loon!” she screamed as I told her about ‘Daryl’. “Who is this fucking kid?”
“Oh my god dude you have to see his facebook!” I laughed, taking out my Blackberry. I scrolled through my friends list to reveal DJ Malone in black and white trying to look sensitively sexy.
“OH MY GOD!” she gasped, looking away and grabbing hold of the help desk for support.
“I know, right?” I laughed when I noticed a horrified look on Katie’s face. It’s the same look of fear she gave me when we got into the car accident with fat Kanye West.
I turned to my right to see the one, the only…the sensitively sexy DJ Malone making his way towards Customer Service. So being the mature adult that I was, I did what anyone would do…
I hit the mother fucking ground and began to pray.