My Life in Retail: Part IX – Security

I ran up to Marvin frantic, “Stop!” he said, putting his hand out, “For the last time I don’t know when the request off book is coming back but no one is off on Black Friday – you know that already.”
“It’s not about that,” I panted, trying to catch my breath, “I did something bad…”
“Oh God,” he sighed, putting his hands to his temples, “what the hell did you do now, Sharkey?”
“I may or may not have given a large woman a fourteen and sixteen when she asked me for a ten…”
“You did what?!?!?!”
“I’m sorry, Marvin…but seriously, there was no way she was getting into a ten.”
“Lauren!” he snapped, taking hold of my shoulders, “How many times have we been over this?”
“I know, I know…I’m sorry!  I just didn’t want to make a million trips – I was just trying to help.”

Marvin sauntered to the fitting room with me close at his heels. Then he suddenly turned on his heel and said, “No.  You wait here.  Where is she?”
I simply pointed to Clare who was pacing about the fitting room in nothing but her bra and panties.  He looked at me, put on his manager smile and walked over.

“Hi ma’am, my name is Marvin – I’m the store manager.  Would you like to go back in the fitting room and put some clothes on so we can talk?”
“Who the hell do you people think you are?!” Clare screamed.  “I am beautiful the way I am.  It’s your problem if my body (and at this point she proceeded to rub her body down with her hands) bothers you.”
“Okay,” he sighed, “ma’am, I’m not saying that you’re not beautiful but I can’t have you pacing around the fitting room in your undergarments.  It’s store policy.  Now if you’ll kindly put some clothes on, I’d be more than happy to resolve this issue.”
“Ugh, fine.” she said, stamping her feet.

It was at that point that Marvin turned to me, gave me the sign for “call me” and mouthed the words, “Call security.”

Oh man, I thought, this cannot be good.


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