Liar Liar

You are currently reading from the Trials and Tribulations of a Crazy Asian Series

When Rich put his hand over mine after asking me to see the world with him, I quickly took mine back and said, “Look, Rich, what the hell are we doing here?”
“Um, making a map of awesomeness?” he laughed.
“No,” I sighed, “I meant…what are we doing…here.”
“Oh,” he said, bowing his head. “I uh,” he mumbled, running his hands through his hair, “I knew you were going to ask that sometime. Look, Lauren…”

Oh god, I thought as I took a deep breath, bracing myself, here it comes.

“I’m not really looking for anything serious right now. I mean, I’m not looking for a relationship or anything…”

So, I told him the lie all girls who like boys tell the boys they like so the boys don’t find out they like them: “Sure, I’m not looking for anything serious either.”

The sigh of relief a man takes after hearing those eight words is similar to when they hear they are not going to be a father.

Then, I proceeded to tell myself the variations of the same lie all girls in situations that are going to end badly tell themselves before things begin to go south and blow up in a dramatic fashion, thus destroying any chance of a friendship:

  • I really don’t want anything serious right now. I’m one of those girls who doesn’t need a man and I could care less. (Yeah…sure.)
  • I can do casual. (No – you can’t)
  • It’s okay – if I just wait it out he’ll eventually see how perfect we are together. (No he won’t)

And so, I took the red Sharpie from Rich’s hand and placed an “X” over North Korea.

“North Korea?” he laughed. “Why there?”
“Curiosity.” I smiled. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was because, deep down, in my soul of souls I knew the truth – we would never get there.

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