Dear Diary,

Feeling kind of weird today.  This blog mainly talks about the past so I rarely get to elaborate on my present or my future.  So, I figured I’d write a little something about myself now as opposed to myself then.

I’m a year away from obtaining my bachelor’s degree at SUNY Stony Brook.  Originally, my plan was to graduate with an English degree and go to a stellar masters program and maybe teach post-grad.  Then I met Professor H. who told me that unless I go to the Writer’s Workshop at University of Iowa (yeah, who’d have thought that the top writing program IN THE WORLD would be in Iowa?…not this guy.) or someone is going to foot the bill, it’s not worth going.  So, the plan has changed.

I am now in the process of obtaining a Multidisciplinary Studies degree with a double minor in Writing & Rhetoric and Technology in Society.  I plan on applying to the University of Iowa (and CUNY Hunter) the the Spring 2014 semester.  I intend on obtaining an internship either next semester or this summer – this way if graduate school doesn’t work out, I will hopefully be so stellar that they invite me to stay on.

Now, all this is great, but it kind of puts a damper on other things: aka, all the plans my boyfriend and I have made for the future.  We were talking about getting engaged next year and moving in together – if I’m in Iowa, those plans kind of fall by the wayside.  And since I would ultimately be moving back to New York, he wouldn’t come with me and that would totally suck.  Long distance never works (we’ll get to that soon).

Similarly, so much stress has been added since I recently quit my job.  I was working for administration at school but the office politics proved to be too much for me and I decided to move on.  Right now I have all these other part-time gigs but I am really nervous I am going to pick the wrong one.  If I’m known for anything – it’s my bad judgement in jobs and men (although I’ve gotten better on the latter).

I am in a permanent state of freaking out about tomorrow – job, money, school, job…I feel like I am going to explode.

Just had to get that out.  Thanks for listening guys.

❤ Lauren


3 thoughts on “Bleh

    • ::hugs:: to you as well! I am so happy class has brought you into my life. My existence is better now that you are a part of it!

  1. Dear Lauren,
    things here are more or less the same.
    In order to graduate I HAVE TO do an internship, which will be worth 15 ECTs, so yeah, it’s a check on my list of things that worry me too.
    My dream master degrees are either in Paris or in London, but both locations are extremely competitive and therefore I HAVE TO be an excellence at uni and I HAVE TO find an awesome internship, so that they’ll see how motivated I am and accept me.
    I have no stress for what concerns relationships and so on, I’m not planning on getting engaged or whatever in the near future, so that’s a relief, BUT I’m freaking out because (again) a lot depends on my freaking internship: where can I go on university exchange next fall semester and still do my summer internship? Good question.
    We’re students, we should be having “the time of our lives”, but sometimes we’re called back to reality and we have to face it with all the strenght and perseverance we have.
    Good luck, colleague! I’m sure we will both manage to: (1) GRADUATE, (2) find a super-cool internship, (3) find a master degree programme that suits us and our private lives.


    p.s. coincidence wants that I’m actually considering Stony Brook University and/or Peace University for my exchange! haha

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