I Want You to Want Me

You are currently reading from the Trials and Tribulations of a Crazy Asian Series

“Okay, seriously,” Rich scoffed, slamming the closet door and turning to face me, “what is the god damn problem, Lauren?”
“”I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I sighed, hopping back into my jeans and snatching my cell phone, preparing to make my escape.
“Don’t pull that shit with me, Lauren.  You know exactly what I’m talking about so just say it.” he laughed, rolling his eyes.

Of course I knew what he was talking about – just like he knew what the god damn problem was.  The only difference between us is that I knew this would happen from the get go – where as he only figured this out a few weeks ago, maybe less.

Furthermore, he was the only one of us who had a legitimate reason to me angry.  After all, I’m the one who was “okay”.  I’m the one who was “fine”…I’m the one who lied.

“Fine, you want to know?  You really want to know?” I laughed.
“Yeah, I really want to fucking know.”
“You introduced me as your fucking friend, Rich.”  I said plainly.
“Oh my god.” he sighed, bowing his head to the floor.  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me – you have got to be fucking kidding me with this shit, Lauren!  You can’t be serious right now!”
“Of course I’m fucking serious – I’m saying it, aren’t I?”
“Well I don’t know, Lauren,” he laughed, “apparently you say lots of things.  Like ‘I’m not looking for anything serious’ and ‘I like things the way they are’.”
“Oh, you know what?” I said, shaking my head and making my way for the door, “Fuck you.  i’m fucking out of here.”

I could hear his footsteps fast behind me as he laughed, “You’re something else, you know that?  I told you from the get go I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend.”
I turned at the bottom of the stairs and pointed my index finger in his face, “I wasn’t asking to be your girlfriend!”
“Then what the hell do you want?!” he shouted.

And, for the first time in a long time, I was speechless.  For the first time in a long time, I was confused.  For the first time in a long time, someone was asking me what I wanted…and I had no fucking clue.

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