So, really, I simply viewed losing my wallet as a minor inconvenience. And I began the process of trying to cancel the plethora of maxed out credit cards (Amazon, Amazon Store Card, Old Navy, Capital One, Victoria’s Secret, Capital One again, Target, and American Express – yeah, like someone is really going to be able to open another one of those). I was happy to discover that I could get another driver’s license online and so it seemed like the only real pain in the ass thing I was going to have to do was go down to the Social Security office and get another one of those bad boys.
Now, I’m not an idiot – the only reason I was carrying the damn thing was so I could give it to Financial Aid. I don’t go toting that thing around.
So, I got up early the day after I realized the wallet was lost, checked the SSA hours, saw that they were 9am-3pm (by the way, if your office is only open for six hours you have no reason to be as grouchy as you are) and hustled my ass down there with my birth certificate and passport.
I arrived at the Social Security office at 8:58am only to discover that you can actually show u at 8am to get a number! Seriously, what kind of fucked up bull shit is that?! If the office opens at 9am, shouldn’t it stand to reason that is when you can get a number? Whatever, not the issue I am most concerned about right now.
Anyway, I get my number and take my seat amongst the other Asians, schizophrenics and elderly and wait for my number to be called. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my headphones (and couldn’t continue my Arrested Development marathon, courtesy of Netflix).
I breathed a deep sigh of regret until I saw it – the single greatest implementation of popular nerd culture I could ever hope to behold. I couldn’t suppress the smile if I had a gun to my head and all I could utter was, “Oh dear god…”