You are currently reading from the Trials and Tribulations of a Crazy Asian Series.
“Are you fucking serious with this shit right now?” I half-yelled, half-laughed into the phone.
“Lauren! It’s nearly 7;20pm! You ought to be in the car with Robert by now.” Cole observed.
“Yeah, um about that…he gave me your package. What the hell is this?”
“Oh that,” he sighed, “in most countries it’s called a ‘dress’. Surely you’ve seen one before.”
I could see his smug smile forming and said, “Yeah, I know what it is. What I don’t know is why you felt the need to provide me with one.”
“Well, I thought given tonight’s itinerary you deserved something…special.”
“Oh yeah?” I laughed, “How about you tell me what the agenda is and I’ll see if I have anything in my closet?”
“Lauren,” he sighed, “put on the dress, get your bum in the car and prepare for an evening on the town.”
And with that, I was the only one on the phone. I sighed, hung the dress on the door and stood back. “Well,” I thought, “I’ll give him one thing – Michael Kors makes quite the evening gown.”
So, after a failed attempt to get into the size 4 Cole had so generously provided me, I called Robert and sighed, “Hey Bob…do me a solid and bring me the 8.”
“Eight it is, Ms. Sharkey. Speaking of which, I don’t mean to rush but we should be getting on the road.”
“You might want to stand by the door then Bob, I definitely need help with that zipper.”
“Very good, Ms. Sharkey.”
Rob brought me the eight, zipped me up and we were on the road within fifteen minutes. “So,” I said, checking out the back of the Town Car for a DVD player, “does Cole do this with all the ladies?”
Robert laughed and said, “Mr. Englander told me you might ask that.”
“And what did Mr. Englander tell you to respond with?”
“He asked me to remind you that there are no other ladies in the car.”
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