The Server’s Code: Cover Catastrophes, Part III

The second sect of coverage involves the ability to cover one’s own ass – but that, my friends, is entirely your own responsibility.  There is no code that can save you from yourself.  The fate you endure is equal to your proficiency in bull shit – and, let’s face it, some of us have better poker faces than others.

However, there is another party who may require one’s coverage – and that is where we shall pick up.

In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, it is brought to the attention of the reader that Lord Voldemort is surviving on unicorn blood.  However, anyone who drinks unicorn blood is cursed because a unicorn is a sacred animal.  The same logic can be applied to servers.

If there’s two things you need to know about why people work in restaurants it’s this – to get paid and to get laid.  Jersey Shore ain’t got nothin on the hook ups, back stabbing and drama that goes on behind the line.  Yet, unlike the Jersey Shore, these random hookups and romantic interludes are contained to a set population of people.

Waiters bang hostesses, and then bang waitresses once all the hostesses have turned against them.  Waitresses sleep with managers, get left for hostesses, find solace in a line cook that knows how to dance before getting around to a serve who “could be the one”.  Now, we traffic like that there’s bound to be some overlap in targets.

That’s where code #3 comes in:  A server will neither confirm nor disconfirm the sexual escapades of another server that:

  • he or she has requested a shift covered and had that request granted by server in question.
  • has aided the server being asked in a time of inebriation or under the influence.
  • has covered the server being asked when presented with the same question.

Special cases may arise and exceptions can be made in extreme circumstances.  Otherwise code #3 is iron clad.

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