That Freakin Guy…

Classes have officially begun – cue the slew of “woe is me” Facebook statuses complaining about how many assignments people have (who knew college would be so much effort) and how exhausted they are.  Blow me, people – seriously…we sit in desks for a few hours, write some papers and maybe do a multimedia project or two.  I’m not saying it’s not difficult, but you know what you signed up for so deal with it.

::Sigh:: Now that I find myself getting back into the swing of things, I’ve been able to realize how much I don’t miss certain things…and how much less I miss certain people.  And, as it happens, I’ve made a list (I seem to be doing a lot of that lately):

1.  OMG Girl

You know this girl…we all know this girl.  She has blonde hair, wears UGGS and it toting around a Michael Kors bag with a one subject notebook that she uses for ALL FOUR of her classes.  She spends the whole time on her phone (70% chance it’s a Blackberry – I don’t know why…it’s just how it happens) and asks you what the homework was every day before class starts.

2.  It’s Personal Guy/Girl

No matter what class you’re taking – Intro to Statistics, Late Imperial China, whatever – there is always one person in the class who can “personally relate” to everything the professor is saying/referring to.  This person also always feels the need to share that personal experience with everyone, every class, every five minutes.  I.E. the dude in my History of Feminism class who today said he could relate to the female struggle regarding birth control because the pharmacist refused to give him his girlfriend’s birth control while she was waiting in the car.  This traumatic event led him to feel sexually discriminated against and, I quote, “It’s like, so sexist, you know?  I mean, I am the person she’s fuckin’ – I should have the same rights as her to the birth control, ya know?”

3.  “Well, actually…” Guy

I don’t understand how some people don’t know how college works.  You sit in a desk and gain information from the professor.  The reason you gain knowledge from the professor is because they have extensively studied their subject, have published their own views on the subject and are employed by the university to share that knowledge with you.  YOU DO NOT KNOW MORE THAN THE PROFESSOR DOES.  So just STOP.  Seriously, you constantly trying to correct and outwit the professor is really distracting.  Knock it off.

4.  The Repeater

Mothers tell their children, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”…what they should really be saying is, “If you don’t have anything worthwhile to add to this conversation then shut the fuck up.”  I get that you need participation points, but seriously, if you don’t stop I am probably going to kill you before the semester is over.  Take a few minutes and thing of something insightful to say before class.  You’re more likely to get bumped up that extra couple of points if you do that.  Plus, I’m sick of hearing:
Professor:  As I was saying, the sky is blue…
Your Dumb Ass:  So, what you’re saying is that blue would be the color of the sky?

5.  Aww man, do we have to?

This guy/girl is in every class.  They’re the person that looks over the syllabus and says, “Oh my god, this is soooo much work.”

At this point in my educational career, I’m taking all upper division classes.  So, I knew going in that there were going to be extensive writing assignments, reading and other class work that would make up my grade. Yet, there are still people in my class freaking out, asking if the notes are going to be on Blackboard (seriously, are you 12?) and how many absences there are before they get points docked.  Really dude, you’re embarrassing.


So, that’s my top 5 most annoying college cliches – I’m sure you have your own.  But before I go, I must say this:  college isn’t for everyone, but McDonald’s is.  You can be anything when you apply yourself 🙂


2 thoughts on “That Freakin Guy…

  1. To be fair, my first day of classes I was having a mini panic attack about all the work that I knew was in store. But I think I’m more in the swing of things now. I hope.

    *hides under blankets*

    • Lol I don’t think it’s about fearing the work (because we all do that) – I think it’s more about having apathy, or any other negative attitude (especially resentment towards the professor) towards that work being assigned.

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