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They say, “To err is human, to forgive is divine.” I thought about this saying as I stroked Devin’s chestnut hair, while he cried in my lap, begging for my forgiveness. I considered, for a moment, that I had driven Devin to this point, and Ryan’s death was a fate of my own making.
I couldn’t help but weep as I felt Devin’s tears permeate through the cotton sheet that was keeping me warm and said, “No, Devin…it is you who needs to forgive me.” My voice began to break as I continued, “I-I…I’m so sorry.”
Devin and I laid there for what seemed like an eternity. He wrapped his arms around me, kissed my forehead, changed my morphine bag. It was as though Ryan had left us in another lifetime with different circumstances. In fact, the time we spent together made me forget about Ryan completely…until his father returned.
Devin’s father cleared his throat as he entered the room. He was holding a stack of pastel colored envelopes and then I knew this is why I had been kept alive. Devin took the envelope and his father left us once more. He laid them in my lap and motioned for me to open them.
I tore open the first letter to see a picture of a white cake with the word, “Congratulations” at the top, covered in glitter – the kind that sticks to your hands after touching it. Inside, I found the handwriting of on Amy Fitzhammond and her husband, Jerry Fitzfammond. “Wishing you the best in your new life. You two are perfect together and we know you will have many happy years to come. Always, Amy and Jerry.”
Also enclosed, was a check for $1,000 – made out to Mr. and Mrs. Devin…all it needed was my signature. And, as fate would have it, Devin took a pen from his pocket, and placed it into my hand.
“Oh,” I sighed, finally acknowledging the truth, “I almost forgot…”
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