“Lauren,” Bryan sighed, wrapping his arms around me, “everyone feels that way sometimes. It’s only natural to doubt and feel what you’re feeling. Sometimes when I think about ‘forever’, I get nervous too. But then I look at you and I just…”
“You just what?” I asked.
“I am just sure is all.”
“Really?” I asked, letting the tears fall.
“Yes, Lauren.” he said, kissing my forehead, “So many things in my life have been up in the air – work, school, friends…but you’re the one thing I am always sure about. And you’ve been through a lot in your life. So much so that I would be worried if you didn’t have doubts.”
“I love you.” I sighed.
“I love you too, Lauren.”
As Bryan hugged me tight, fully accepting me for not only who I was but all the fucked up shit that had happened to make me who I was, I had never felt more at ease. For the first time in my life, I felt that I could truly lay myself bare and not be afraid. There was nothing holding me back – no choice that had to be made.
“Yeah?” he said, turning the off the light and pulling the covers over me, “Do you want to travel?”
“No,” I laughed, “I mean in the future…do you want to like go to Europe and Costa Rica and stuff?”
“If it’s with you, Lauren…I’d go anywhere.”
And it was then – in that moment that I found light in the darkness.