The Friend Zone

In recent years, the subject of “The Friend Zone” has become a significant focus of the dating community.  To be more specific, I see more and more guys complaining about their presence in the friend zone on Facebook, and other forms of social media.

BuzzFeed, not even two months ago, published an article on “20 Bros Getting Friendzoned on Facebook” and it seems that memes like:



have become a permanent part of my Facebook news feed.  Then again, those same guys are posting things like Man Rules – a series of rules compiled in an effort to get women to tell men what they “really want” since “men aren’t mind readers”.

Guess what, dudes?…women aren’t mind readers either.  If you’re in “The Friend Zone”, don’t blame me – you put yourself there.

I hate to go this route but seriously, have you people never even seen Sex and the City?  I know it’s not the preferred source of entertainment for the male population but that shit is syndicated on multiple channels.  You can’t tell me that you haven’t flipped over it at least once and not watched at least five minutes of an episode.

If Sex and the City has done anything for the male population, other than killing a Saturday night, it’s shown men just how lost women are when it comes to dating.  And in the post-apocalyptic wasteland called 21st century dating – with its emoticons, Facebook relationship status options, and text messaging – women couldn’t be more lost.

I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spent agonizing over wondering whether or not the smiley face a guy sent me in his last text message meant whether or not he wanted to be “more than friends”.  I’ve downed countless glasses of wine, attempting to decipher text after text for hints about whether or not a guy felt the same way about me.

Now, that’s not to say that I wouldn’t get the hint if you invited me over to your place and I walked into a cande-lit dinner and fresh roses while a string quarter played the song I told you I liked the last time we were walking through the mall…but when was the last time that happened?

So, let me make one thing clear, chicks don’t just dig confidence – they want a man.  They want the dude who is going to kick the door in, tell us he wants to be with us and only us, and then fix the door that night (not two weeks later) after sex.

I don’t want the guy that’s afraid of getting rejected.  I don’t want the guy who can’t tell me how he feels.  I don’t want the guy who worries about what everyone else thinks about what would happen if he and I got together and I sure as shit don’t want the guy who does what everyone else tells him to do about HIS relationship.

Look, I get that it’s scary to throw your heart into the pile and lay your cards on the table, waiting to see what the dealer has.  But women have been doing it forever.

You always hear dudes talking about how some girl won’t stop texting him or how his girl keeps on nagging him to put a label on things…we know who we are.  We know what we want.

So, to all the “nice guys” out there who are never “given a shot”:  BUCK UP. NUT UP. STEP UP OR SHUT UP.

We’re women on a mission to get what we want out of life…we ain’t got time fo’ yo’ bull shit.


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